As I gain perspective and distance from my marriage, I see more objectively how we arrived where we are. My part becomes more clear.
I became increasingly frustrated with my inability to rekindle my romance and reconnect with my husband. As frustration mounted, I became emotionally more self-protective. I did not want to let him in if he was going to tromp all over my heart in messy boots again.
So I hid my irritation less. I stopped taking initiative in our social life, or sex or pretty much anything. I turfed him out of the bedroom.
I'm not saying I should not have done any of those things, those were the best ideas I had at the time, but I see now how much my own actions damaged our relationship.
I really let my bitch hang out. I was cold, confrontational, questioning and impatient. I gave no vibes that said come hug me, I'm safe. I turned off lovability.
