Until I got in touch with my feelings last week, I thought I held no sadness and had healed all those aspects of letting go. Now I realise just how much I have been holding in; actually letting it out disguised as other issues.
I read an article recently about how our the thing we worry about most may not be the biggest or only issue - that my constant worry over money may in fact be concern for my kids or even just sadness and mourning my marriage.
I snap at the kids sometimes, and fret over the dog poop in my side yard (I don't have a dog). I'm concerned about my car, my skin, my health, the washing machine, the general moisture content of the air, and why my duvet smells like wet dog.
So it shouldn't have been such a surprise to realise that all this is probably mis-expressed sadness over my divorce. Leaving a marriage may a positive thing, and something I did to be good to myself, but that doesn't make it easy or all balloons and cake. It's ok to be sad, even though I took what I see as the correct path. I guess I have to remember that. And allow it to flow through me and out of me.
