Well now the excitement of house selling, packing & moving, unpacking & settling, is all done. We are settled. For the time being. Not sure what the future holds; all I know is there is no security.
All the action stuff is done. Now the reality of a new life is settling upon us. Me and the kids. The ex seems to have lost interest in his kids - does fly-by five minute visits, full of reasons he has no time, yet telling us of exciting new social events he attends. He doesn't hear the irony.
Now what? It's like a death; there is that initial flurry of activity and support, then a lifetime of that relationship no longer existing.
Now I'm on my own, with two young children who miss their dad and having a dad. They miss the certainty of their old life, and they miss feeling secure. Their life has changed hugely. I am their only functional parent.
And life stretches out before me like a saskatchewan highway.
I know it will get interesting again. I know it will rise up to meet me, challenge me, reward me. But right now everything just feels kind of flat.
