Having kids has allowed me to experience more joy and unconditional love than I ever could have imagined. But part of the price you pay is that there’s no time off. Nights, weekends, nights, nights, early mornings – you have to respond to their needs with love and competence.
One of the unintended benefits of separation has been that my kids stay over at their dad’s one night a week. This has given me a wonderful reward – time off being Mom.
I love my Saturday nights. Sometimes I go out but often prefer to stay home.
Sometimes I watch tv and eat chips. I get to sit on a clean sofa in a tidy room and watch what I want; no Hannah Montana or overloud laugh tracks.
Sometimes I work on my art, without being asked why I won’t let them paint on my canvas. If I choose to write I can finish a sentence and finish a thought.
I cook for myself, don’t have to remind them - for the ten-thousandth time - that the dishwasher works only when the dishes are actually in it.
No bedtime struggles, no arguments over who gets the blue cup. No one asking where their yellow sock is or why I won’t let them have a cell phone. No telling the kids (for the ten-thousandth time!) to put their junk away.
In fact, I don’t have to talk to anyone if I don’t want to.
Lazing in a hot bath with a glass of wine and no interruptions is incredibly revitalizing after a busy week.
In the morning I sleep in, then linger over coffee and the Sunday New York Times. Eventually I get up and go for a run. Later, I'll head to the local pool, lounging in the hot tub without shivering kids exhorting me to go down the waterslide with them.
What luxury. Selfishness without any 'bad parent' guilt.
When the kids come back the next day, I am refreshed and recharged. I've had the chance to miss them a little and am ready to renew my commitment to being the best parent that I can be. And now I have the energy to do so.
