It's been two weeks since he moved out. His move was fairly sudden, without a lot of warning. He had said he would begin to move his things, then transition to his new place. It all went down on a Saturday. Several of his friends and his parents showed up, commenced a flurry of activity, and he never slept here again. My eldest daughter sat outside reading; I assume to escape the upheaval inside. One thing about the S2BX (soon to be ex) is that when he does something it takes over the entire room or house. When he packed, boxes, tape and screwdrivers covered every surface of our home. He doesn't think about minimizing the effect on others - I truly think it doesn't cross his mind that others are affected.
So when he moved, he forgot to let the kids get involved; he didn't seem to think that it may affect them. He forgot to tell us that it was going to be a day of disruption.
It's like he can't operate in a different mode that involves the kids. I've seen this again and again, that when he wants to get something done, he can't manage it to allow the kids to help, which is of course what kids want to do.
But his move is done now, and already we get along better. The simple details of daily life, mood and relationship are no longer issues we have to contend with, and already I've found the friendship I used to feel for him.
My birthday was last week and we all went out for sushi. It was a lovely evening; he gave me a hug bouquet of flowers and gift card for a massage at the local day spa. We enjoyed our dinner then wandered over to his new place for a visit. Leaving him to walk home with the girls, I felt a pang of sadness. Sweet undefined sadness. I didn't want to think about it too much. I know why we separated, and am pretty sure we will never reconvene, but I also know what I like about him, and that I love him. We had to get divorced to save the relationship!
